Beauty of the Soul
by Aislynn Raele
Summary: Discontinued for now! Nothing is more important than giving, she had told him. Nothing will make you feel more wonderful than when you reach out and help a lost soul find the beauty hiding within themselves.
1. Beauty of the Soul

Chapter One - Beauty of the Soul

Shippou scampered down the well-worn dirt path with unmatched eagerness, the soft midday winds ruffling his bright red hair into a tangled mess. His breath came in short pants, a mixture from the exertion from running at top speed, and the product of his own choking anticipation. His bare feet beat against the ground steadily, adding a constant drum beat to the orchestra of the chirping birds. Large innocent green eyes stayed trained on the dim lighting ahead of him, a sure sign that he was nearing his destination. As the old well finally came into view, his bounding became faster and faster, ending abruptly upon him crashing against the weather worn wood. Tiny clawed hands grasped the well's edge, hoisting his body up to sit precariously atop it. He stared into its bottomless depths with knowing eyes, willing her to appear.

He imagined her silhouette bathed in soft pink light, quickly fading to reveal her reaching down to retrieve her bulging yellow pack from the ground beside her. She would wave at him warmly and call out a greeting in her soft voice, one hand shielding her eyes from the blinding sunlight above her, before climbing up the tangle vines with practiced movements developed over years of performing the same routines. When she finally reached the top, her bag would be heaved unceremoniously over the side of the well with a large thud, her own form tumbling down after to land in a heap on the ground beside it. There she would rest to catch her breath, before he would ungracefully pummel her with a fierce hug, all the while shouting in her ears of how glad he was that she made it back. Oh, how he hoped she would be bringing more scrumptious treats for him this time.

He sighed softly, his short legs clanking against the inner wall of the well in impatience. She wasn't due to return for a few hours still, but he always had hopes that she would arrive sooner. He missed his mother, and often feared she may never return to him. You might say he had separation issues after the death of his biological family. Knowing that she probably wouldn't be appearing any time soon, he hopped back onto stable ground with an exasperated huff. Bringing a finger to his chin, he stroked his imaginary beard in deep thought, wondering what he could do while he waited. Help Kaede? Too boring. Talk to Miroku? Too emotionally scarring. Bother Inuyasha? Too painful. On and on he went, mentally ticking off his favorite things to do, until finally it came to him. Snapping his fingers in delight, he glanced toward the small patch of wildflowers growing freely around the base of the well. He eyed them in suspicion, critically appraising their appearance before shaking his head slightly. Those just wouldn't do.

Content to have a mission with which to chase away his boredom, Shippou set out dutifully to collect the most beautiful flowers in the forest for his adopted mother. Picking a direction at random, he tramped into the forest with a gleam of excitement in his eyes. Every flower he passed was thoroughly scrutinized, almost none meeting his high standards. Only the most beautiful flowers would come close to being worthy of his selfless caretaker. After an entire hour of cavorting through the forest looking for anything with petals, only two very lucky flowers had passed the test; one bright green with a black patch that faded out from the center, and the other plain white in coloring, but with a radiance and brightness that would never fail to please the eye.

Shippou slowed his pace considerably as time went on, kicking absently at small pebbles on the ground as he debated on whether or not to head back to the well. His bouquet was small, much smaller than he had planned, but he knew that wouldn't matter to her. Small or not, she would still exclaim over their beauty and thank him profusely. She would still praise him for his kindness and shower him with compliments. She would still tie them together with a silky ribbon and cherish them until they died.

Shippou tilted his head wistfully. Sometimes, he thought Kagome an angel. Surely, no human could possibly be that perfect, that loving. And perhaps he was right. It wasn't as if her story wasn't odd already. A miko girl from the future falls down a time warp well with a very powerful and dangerous jewel held safe in her possession, not to mention the fact that her purification powers are unparalleled and her compassion is whispered about in tales of their journey across the land. Throwing in the fact that she was an angel from heaven just might make the story a bit more believable.

He lifted his chin in pride for his surrogate mother, immediately deciding to continue his search. She deserved it, more than she could ever know. He wondered if she knew how rare it was for a human to take on a demon kit as their own blood, let alone help him avenge the death of his biological parents. He shook his head lightly with a laugh at the thought. Part of what made her so wonderful was the fact that she didn't even know it. Her modest thoughts about her actions were a friendly reminder that everything Kagome does is a product of her own generosity, never for self gain or personal vendettas. It was as if she lived to serve the world in its entirety, right hand to the gods if you would, and was humble enough to never wish anything in return. A purer heart would never come to exist.

Eventually, Shippou stumbled upon a rounded clearing a ways from the well. It was exactly what he had been searching for; a meadow stocked plentifully with exotic looking flowers. A cornucopia of bright colors and shapes glimmered brightly at him, refracted light sending hundreds of rainbows to bounce along the treetops. With a loud yip of excitement, he threw himself headfirst into their cushioned bed, content to fall asleep amongst their infinite beauty. He hummed happily to himself, one of the many tunes that he had picked up from Kagome in their time together.

If there was one lesson that Kagome worked hard to instill in him over the years, it was how to recognize and appreciate the beauty in everything and everyone around him. She had reminded him to be grateful of the role he was given in this world, and to play his part completely and selflessly. Nothing is more important than giving, she had told him. Nothing will make you feel more wonderful than when you reach out and help a lost soul find the beauty hiding within themselves.

It was pure lunacy, he thought, that the same beauty he saw in his surrogate mother also resided in someone like Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru was calloused, uncaring, a cold being that held deep prejudice against the entire human race for something they couldn't control. How could his soul hold any beauty? Or worse, how could Naraku's? In his eyes, Naraku was someone to be despised, a despicable monster that had no right to exist. He was a heartless demon that toyed with the hearts of thousands and ended lives without remorse. His mother, however, was seemingly incapable of hate. She seemed to think that somewhere inside him he housed some shred of humanity, a little scrap of beauty that could one day redeem him, if only in one person's eyes. How could someone so ruthless, a mindless killer, possibly withhold beauty? The answer, he thought, was obvious. They could not.

In some ways, Shippou was more grown up than his self proclaimed guardian. He was jaded, forever haunted by the deaths of his parents. He had seen reality. He had come to terms with the meaning of death and betrayal and loss. His eyes, though young, were stained with a lifetime of destruction, something that could never be undone. His optimism had waned fractionally with time. She still held her childish ideals of world peace and happy endings. Her blind faith captured the hearts of nearly everyone she met, bestowing upon them a shred of hope that the sun would rise once more. When he was near her, thoughts of the battlefield disappeared altogether, leaving only love and contentment in their wake. She allowed him to be the child he was, rather than forcing maturity upon him like so many others had done. She vowed valiantly to protect him from the dark.

Sniffing the delicate blooms with a tiny snort, he sat up and ran his gentle fingertips over their silky petals. He was fascinated, entranced by their simple elegance. How could something as plain as weeds one day grow to become a breathtaking garden? A laugh escaped him in remembrance of a story Kagome once told him of a hideous little duckling that turned into a beautiful swan. Smiling quietly in wonderment, one hand slowly raked through their tangled stems, careful not to damage them. His other hand loosely clutched his mothers two flower bouquet, holding the special blooms against his chest in a show of protection. So absorbed he was in observing their beauty, he didn't even notice the way the birds fell dead silent in terror, leaving only the sound of his childish giggles to fill the empty air.

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Kagome touched down on the ground softly, still somewhat suspended in the air by the swirling pink tendrils of the well's magic. Her bag lay still on the ground beside her, its contents straining against the tightly secured pocket buckles. She hefted her bottomless bag with a quiet grunt, taking a moment to safely balance the weight of her pack by countering it with her own. "Hello," she called to the circlet of blue sky above her, slightly confused when no one admitted a response. Mentally shrugging her shoulders, she wove her fingers into the vines growing up the well's interior and began to hoist her body upward.

When she reached the top, she halfheartedly shoved her bag over the lip of the well, watching as it rolled sluggishly for a moment before coming to a stop a few feet away. Swinging her legs over as well, she dropped top the ground and looked about herself in apprehension. The midday sky was crisp blue above her, the sun hanging plainly in sight. The trees were flourishing beautifully in the late summer weather, just the slightest highlights of orange and brown on the leaves to hint at the fast approaching autumn. Everything looked completely normal. And yet...

Something was very wrong.

The absence of Inuyasha wasn't a huge surprise, really. He had calmed down somewhat about her infrequent absences, realizing that she was just as eager to return to the past as he was. Though still noticeably irritable toward the rest of their friends in her absence, Inuyasha had finally managed to acquire the ability of showing patience. He usually spent his time helping Miroku with odd jobs or teaching Shippou to fight while she was gone, rather than waiting around at the well all day.

It was the absence of her adopted son, Shippou, that managed to strike her as odd. Over the past four years of their journey, Shippou had grown quite attached to her, and she to him. He had even gone so far as to refer to her as 'Mama' on a daily basis, something that both filled her with a surge of maternal pride and caused a stab of pain to shoot through her heart at the memory of his cruel orphaning.

Usually, Kagome returned to find him fidgeting restlessly on the rim of the well. Now that the quest for the jewel shards was nearly over, he seemed to think that any time she jumped through the well to visit her family and stock up on supplies, she might never return to him. Time and time again, she had been pummeled by his small form when she climbed out of the well, Shippou nearly in tears because he was so overwhelmed with doubt of her return. Many times, she had taken him on private walks, just him and her, to explain to him that she would never leave without saying goodbye. She was very careful not to promise that she would never leave him because she knew very well that it was hardly her choice on whether or not the well would continue to work its magic. Gods, even promising to never leave without saying goodbye may turn out to be a promise she couldn't keep. Her destiny was not in her hands.

Her heart quickened in an instant and her mind raced as she imagined the possibilities. Was there a demon attack on Kaede's village? Had any of her friends come to harm? Shaking her head firmly, she silently reasoned with herself. She would just go back to the village and see for herself. It was as simple as that. Perhaps Shippou had gotten caught up in a game with the village children as he was wont to do. But even though her mind quieted at the thought, her instinct to protect her young was pumping adrenaline through her veins and sending her heart into unsteady palpitations.

She concentrated hard, reaching out with her miko powers to sense any demons in the area. Having been around her companions for so long, she had learned the difference in feeling between demons. She had practically memorized the feeling of her companions. She felt Inuyasha and Kirara in the village somewhere around Kaede's hut, but try as she might she found no traces of Shippou. Extending her reaches to the forest around her, she looked for signs of him among the many blips of lesser demons. Finally she caught a sign of him, somewhere in the opposite direction of the village about a fifteen minute jog away. Without a second thought, she grabbed her bag and bolted through the forest without pause, her only guide on her trip being her blind intuition and the hope that Shippou hadn't come to harm.

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Sesshoumaru patrolled the forest aimlessly, his feet floating soundlessly over the mossy floor. Everything was completely silent, as even the birds feared his blank stare; a look that showed absolutely no emotion, but still managed to make most recoil from his form in paralyzing fear. His eyes narrowed at the thought of their weakness, their inability to stand up to a threat. He felt no remorse for such cowards. They were undeniably beneath him.

He had left his charges a ways away from him, leaving Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un with the order to catch themselves some dinner in the river beside their temporary encampment. He had opted not to stick around to watch them fish, wanting much rather to have some time to himself. It wasn't very often that he could indulge in silence anymore. From the moment he had taken Rin in as his charge, she had constantly filled the air with her child's chatter. Her happiness amused him, filled him with a small feeling of contentment. Though he would never admit it aloud, he had come to care for the human child as if she were his own.

Jaken, on the other hand, was disposable at best. Though his loyalty was something to be admired, his cowardice proved to be a very large shortcoming. He was practically useless in battle, not that Sesshoumaru had any need for his assistance, and also had the tendency run in the face of danger. Jaken was much more suited to stay in the estate and deal with political matters. The only reason he was still allowed to come on his patrols was to keep an eye on Rin and serve as her companion in his absence.

Sesshoumaru sniffed the air suspiciously, searching for any traces of nearby demons. To his mild surprise, he detected two, one circling the other, along with the scent of a miko, quickly approaching the pair. It seemed to be a game of cat and mouse between the two demons, but the presence of a miko made absolutely no sense. His curiosity piqued, he turned to face their direction and began walking toward them at a leisurely pace.

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Shippou stood frozen amongst the flowers, looking up into the red eyes of a blood lusting bear demon. He clutched his mother's flowers close to him, willing his legs to move, to carry him away from there, but they refused to respond. The demon stalked closer, circling him in amusement. It let out a low growl, a guttural sound that caused Shippou fur to stand on end. The bear swiped at the air with his claws, a message of warning to the small fox kit. Bristling in hostility, it continued its threatening advance.

His brain wouldn't work, refusing to fully register the danger he was in. Shippou managed to take a few terrified steps back, a small whimper escaping him. He should have never gone out into the forest by himself. He should have waited by the well where he was safe. He couldn't protect himself, that much he knew. His mind screamed for Kagome, Inuyasha, Sango, anyone, but his voice didn't make a sound. Growing tired of his own game, the bear demon threw himself forward, claws extended. The fight was over in a manner of seconds.

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Kagome's breathing was extremely labored as she neared Shippou's location. Never in her life had she ever run this fast. A painful stitch had formed in her left side, causing her to flinch in pain with each step she took. Her eyes were filled with tears, a sense of foreboding enveloping her as she picked up on a demon in close proximity to her adopted son. He was being hunted. Pushing the thought out of her mind, she forced herself to move faster. Shippou wasn't more than two minutes away.

She flew past the trees in a blur, collecting scratches from the branches that happened to be in her way. Her clothing was covered in dirt and sweat, an unpleasant combination that made her clothing stick painfully to her skin. Her backpack felt heavier than ever, but was no hindrance to her because she was running on pure adrenaline. Her mind barely registered the ache in her shoulders from its unbelievable weight.

When she finally reached the clearing, her heart stopped cold. Her pack slid off her shoulders unnoticed, landing harmlessly on the ground beside her. Kagome felt light, as if a simple touch could knock her out cold. Her eyes began to roll back into her head, but she forced them open, forced them to take in the sight before her. There in the clearing, she saw her son lying atop a beautiful flower bed.

Covered in his own blood.

Her mind spring back into action, she ran forward without hesitation, falling to her knees beside him. With violently tremulous hands, she carefully lifted his broken body into her arms. His beautiful green eyes were already glazed, forever witnessing a nightmare that only he could see. A deep gash decorated his forehead, a steady stream of blood flowing thickly down his pale cheek. His lips formed a prefect O, a silent scream that no one could hear.

Her hands fisted reflexively in the back of his shirt, bright red blood oozing from between her fingers. His clothes had been reduced to shreds, ribbons of blood soaked cloth hanging from his small frame. Holding him with one hand, she tore a piece of fabric off of her shirt sleeve. Bringing it to his face, she watched in morbid fascination as the white fabric turned completely red in a manner of seconds. Her mind was completely numb. Comprehension was entirely beyond her. She felt her mouth moving silently, forming the syllables of his name over and over in a silent mantra. Never had she ever felt so dead.

It was then that the tears finally came. Three small beads of salty liquid rolled slowly down her face, landing with a small plop on his bright red hair. A tiny whimper escaped her as she finally realized what this meant. Her son was dead. She had failed. Tearless sobs shook her thin frame, her eyes shut tightly against the sight of his mangled body. For once in her life, she felt no hope for the future. For once in her life, she knew what it was like to want to die. Not that she could. She didn't deserve such a release. Not after this. Not after she had allowed harm to befall the one person she had vowed to always protect.

Her head snapped upward at the sound of rustling coming from the trees in front of her. Fear filled her senses, and she clutched her son close to her in apprehension. Sesshoumaru emerged from the forest with a flourish, gracefully coming to a stop a few feet in front of her. His eyes swept over the scene in a few quick seconds, and he immediately knew what had happened. His half-brother's miko had failed to protect her son. She looked at him warily, watching his long silver hair float soundlessly about him. His golden eyes were fixed on her intently. He knew.

Slowly, she brought herself to her feet, Shippou still held protectively against her blood soaked chest. Bringing herself to full height, she matched his stare with equal intensity, though inwardly she felt ready to collapse. "You failed, miko." His deep voice rang with certainty, and her defenses crumbled just slightly. The truth hurt more than any lie ever could. "I did," she acknowledged, despair clear in her wavering voice. Another tear threatened to spill onto her cheeks, but she forced it back. She would not allow Sesshoumaru to see her break down.

Sesshoumaru watched as she struggled to appear strong in the face of her adopted son's death. Over time, he had slowly come to respect the young miko. She was one of the few beings he knew that was able to stand up to him, to treat him as an equal. As much as he hated to admit it, she was indeed very much his equal. Not very many people, if any at all, could claim that they had the same standing with him. His respect was not easily gained. This girl, this Kagome, had been the first one to seek out an actual conversation with him, excluding Rin, of course. She hadn't challenged him to a battle, nor had she initiated an insult match. She had merely walked over to stand beside him and began asking him about his day. It hadn't been a terribly interesting conversation, and neither of them had walked away with any life changing information about the other, but it was a conversation he would always remember. After all, her optimistic views were not easily forgotten.

It had been a day quite a few months ago when he and his companions had run into their ragtag group of friends. He had been curious as to how soon they would be heading after Naraku again, and had opted to go straight to them and ask them straight out, rather than trail along behind in the shadows and wait for something to happen. He had come to them with an alliance proposal, offering his assistance in the battle against Naraku. Now, usually, alliances weren't his style, but the moment Naraku had threatened Rin, he had been forced to make a decision. Either go after Naraku and kill him himself, which even he had to admit was unlikely, or he had to team up with the people who had been fighting him all along. He eventually decided on the latter. It was said that the only way for Naraku to be defeated was for Kagome to purify him herself. If that was the case, then he would make it his personal duty to see that she got the chance.

Upon meeting up with their group, his foolish half brother had immediately gone into attack mode, swearing and throwing his sword around without grace. He remembered how much restraint it had taken not to kill him on the spot for making such a fool of himself. In an instant, the hanyou had gone crashing into the ground face first by way of a subduing spell on the mike's part. She had berated him for his unwarranted attack, plastered a friendly smile on her face, walked right up to him, and asked him how his day was. The conversation didn't get very far, what with his short responses and his half brother's unending strings of curses in the background, but it had been pleasant enough. When the spell finally wore off, he approached Inuyasha with his proposal, which had been grudgingly accepted, and left without a second glance.

Looking at the miko now, he felt the slightest touch of compassion toward her plight. He had seen firsthand how much she had loved her young charge, how much the fox kit had adored her. It seemed almost unfair that she was to be left alone, all because she had arrived just a second too late. Yes, perhaps it was her fault for leaving the boy by himself, but death didn't sound to him like the proper justice. Thoughts of his own charge came to mind. Had he not left Rin with others on many occasions? In fact, at that exact moment, Rin was separated from him, down at the river catching fish. Surely, it wouldn't be fair if death befell her.

With his decision made, he reached his hand toward the hilt of his father's sword, Tenseiga. The sword with the power to bring life to 100 fallen men in one swing. He watched the way her eyes went completely round, a look of relief threatening to overtake her features. "Sesshoumaru." His name fell from her lips quietly, a plea of desperation, of help, of trust. He gave her a slight nod, unsheathing his sword and holding it up in front of him in one slow motion. Dazedly, she lowered her son to the ground, taking a few safe steps backwards. He walked toward the mangled kit, coming to a stop just inches from his broken body, and sliced his father's sword through his body in an even stroke.

The boy came to life with a ragged gasp of air. Rolling onto his side with closed eyes, he curled his body up to retain warmth, wrapped in his tail in a silent slumber. He backed up once again, watching the mike's still dazed expression fall from her face. She broke her eyes away from her son's breathing body, looking straight into Sesshumaru's eyes with overwhelming gratitude. A small smile formed on her face as one last tear trickled down her face. "Thank you. I am forever in your debt." He gave a small grunt in question, raising an eyebrow at the thought of her being indebted to him. He didn't like it.

"We are...friends, are we not?" His words surprised even him, but he controlled his expression with ease. Astonishment, confusion, and even a hint of happiness, flashed over Kagome's face. Friends with Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands. It was an interesting thought. "Yes, I suppose we are." Her smile grew wider, her eyes still locked on his as she retrieved her sleeping kit and held him gently in her arms. "And friends. Friends help friends, no?" Kagome raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out his logic. "Yes, friends help each other all the time." He seemed satisfied with her answer, a ghost of a smile appearing on his porcelain face. "There is no debt between friends." His voice held a tone of finality. Her confusion was evident on her face as she replied. "I don't understand."

Sesshoumaru, turned away from her with a flourish, effectively ending the conversation. He threw her an emotionless glance over his shoulder. "His life is in your hands now. You will not fail again. I will return in a week's time with any information I have on Naraku's whereabouts. Until then." She watched as he disappeared into the forest, her emotions out of control. She planted a soft kiss on Shippou forehead where the gash had once been, the only reminder of its presence being the dried blood covering every inch of both him and herself.

Feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion, she collapsed onto the ground, careful not to jostle her sleeping son. She sat in silence for a moment, listening contentedly to the sound of his even breathing. He was breathing. He was safe. Everything was going to be okay. For a long time she sat there with him lying safely in her lap, reveling in the fact that Shippou was okay. 'Friends' or not, one day she would repay Sesshoumaru for saving his life. His action was by far the kindest thing that anyone had ever done for her, without a doubt, and that would not go unrepaid.

Kagome was broken from her reverie when Shippou began fidgeting in her arms. She watched his bright green eyes blink open, his expression confused and slightly frightened. "Mama?" His voice was thick with sleep, and a tiny laugh escaped her at the sound of her title. "Hey, Shippou," she said, her voice cracking a bit in relief. He tilted his head at her from his place in her arms, snuggling closer to her warm body. "I'm not dead?" She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, lightly pressing her lips against his bright red hair. "No. He saved you." A watery smile formed on her face and she silently thanked him again in her head. Her answer only served to confuse him even more, his head hurting from trying to piece together what had happened. "Who?" Kagome looked toward the trees, where Sesshoumaru had left, remembering his pledge of friendship. "Sesshoumaru," she answered simply, eyes never leaving the trees.

It was that very moment, the very instant that Kagome spoke his name, that Shippou finally realized what Kagome had been trying to tell him all along. Everyone, even Sesshoumaru, possessed beauty of the soul.

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A/N: Hey, guys. Hope you're enjoying it so far. The idea sort of popped into my head last night and I stayed up most of the night typing this up. This is the first of many chapters, though I'm not quite sure what direction I want this story to take. I am an avid Kagome/Sesshoumaru, so expect some of that. I know that Shippou seems to have a really deep way of thinking about him, but I've always imagined that somewhere underneath all that fur and cuteness that there is a very subtly intelligent young boy who knows much more than he lets on. Read and review. Let me know what you think. This is my first ever fanfic, so I'm pretty open to constructive criticism and the like. I'll probably upload the next chapter within the next week. So long for now!

Oh, and...Disclaimer: I own nothing. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Two - Bouncing Back

Kagome looked down at Shippou sharply, forcing a look of nonchalance to mask her features. Here she was, stuck in a daydream of her new friendship with Sesshoumaru, when her son had just experienced death. A fresh wave of guilt hit her like a tidal wave, but she upheld her expression flawlessly. After everything he had just experienced, he was in need of a big dose of normality. If he was to ever truly get over his brush with death, she would have to put him right back into his normal environment.

Still staring at her ward, she realized immediately what would come first on their reintroduction to everyday. Putting on a brave face, she willed her voice to sound as even as possible. "Shippou, how about we go find a hot spring and get out of these rags?" She watched as he brightened just slightly with a quick nod of his head, though he still seemed extremely shaken. Hopefully, after they left the scene of his death and disposed of all the physical evidence, it wouldn't all seem so fresh to him. Besides, if they were going to keep this happening a secret from the villagers, they couldn't possibly show up at the village soaked in Shippou's blood. That would raise more questions than she could safely answer. They would be found out in a second. If the villagers found out, they would no doubt spread the word. She shuddered to think of what twisted ploys Naraku could come up with if he obtained the knowledge of what happened in that clearing.

Kagome wasn't exactly keen on telling their friends just yet either. She could just imagine the mere turmoil dropping something like that on them would create. 'Oh, hey guys, I got us some more ramen! I got beef flavor this time, it's pretty good. By the way, Shippou was killed by a demon in the forest and resurrected by Inuyasha half brother, Sesshoumaru.' No. She would have to wait at least until tonight when Shippou was sleeping. It would be a difficult story for her to retell, let alone with the victim in the room listening to her story with faraway eyes as he recalled what had happened.

Without Sesshoumaru there disproving every negative view her friends had ever had of him, her guilt was quickly returning to her. Once again, she silently and harshly berated herself for allowing such a thing to ever happen to Shippou. She shouldn't have left. She should have stayed in the past until she finished her task and not a second sooner. She had promised to protect him, and then gone gallivanting into another millennium as if nothing was tying her down. If it weren't for Sesshoumaru, she would have never been able to truly see him ever again. Just as he had warned her, she refused to fail once more. Never again would she allow Shippou to become just another tombstone. He deserved more from this life. His destiny was a great one, she just knew it.

Kagome picked herself off the ground and stood on trembling legs. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, she was quickly crashing down. She willed her muscles to respond, to function correctly, but still they quavered underneath her weight. Forced to deal with it, she ignored her quaking muscles and walked purposefully toward her monstrous yellow pack. She hushed Shippou's demands to be let down and held him securely against her chest. There was no way she was letting go of him until they were both undeniably out of harm's way. Heaving her bag onto her shoulder, her arm screaming in protest, she managed to uphold a relatively steady gait as she searched through the forest for some sort of hot spring.

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They arrived at a hot spring about a half hour later, a gift from the Gods, Kagome was sure. She peeled off her sticky clothes with an unsteady hand, watching Shippou closely as he splashed and kicked in the warm water. His wounds had disappeared flawlessly, another thing for her to be thankful for. Him carrying an extensive scar collection on his person wouldn't be the best remedy for her 'moving on' tactic. Who could possibly forgive and forget death with that many reminders crisscrossing their skin? It would be undoubtedly impossible.

Tossing her bloodied shirt into the 'scrap' pile, she worked to remove her jeans, whose hem had been completely decimated in her race toward the meadow. The fabric was shredded to halfway up her shin on both legs, stain covered and unthreaded. When she finally peeled her bottoms off, she found that the flesh underneath wasn't doing much better. Though partially protected by the denim, her once flawless skin was enveloped in bright red welts and fresh cuts. A large amount of mud mingled with the barely drying blood, causing a reddish brown ooze to trickle thickly down her legs. She would be wearing long pants for quite awhile, she could tell.

When she was free of her massacred clothes, she lowered herself eagerly into the water. Her bow and arrow lay close by on the rocks, next to her assorted soaps and shampoos. She rolled her joints slowly, doing her best to ignore the sickening cracks and pops of her weary bones. Shippou splashed on, seemingly unaware of his mother's exhaustion. Running through the forest at full speed in an attempt to save your son's life really took a lot out of you, believe it or not. If she managed to make it safely back to the village without blacking out, it would truly be a miracle. She didn't doubt that she would. So far, her day had been full of miracles, and one more certainly wouldn't hurt.

Shippou watched Kagome out of the corner of his eye as he played idly in the deliciously warm water. Every so often, he saw her head droop forward and her usually vigilant eyes flutter closed. Fearing that she would drown, he would begin to move toward her, only to see her snap her head back up and continue watching the trees. Her skin was much more pale than usual, which wasn't really much of a shock. He imagined how she must have felt when she arrived in the meadow, only to find him dead amongst the roses. She must have been heartbroken. Her face appeared drawn and unnaturally thin, as if seeing her son dead had caused her to lose twenty pounds. He wouldn't be especially surprised if she had. Fear tended to work in mysterious ways when it came to humans. It made them do crazy things.

It took everything Kagome had to stay awake, rather than slip beneath the water's clear surface in fatigue. Deciding to speed her bath up so that they would arrive in the village before she fell asleep, Kagome grabbed a sleek purple shampoo bottle off the rocks and squeezed a generous gob of the thick clear liquid into the palm of her hand. She lathered the scentless soap into her hair rigorously, wanting to get rid of every trace of sweat and blood. Dunking her head beneath the water, she ran her practiced hands through her waterlogged locks until they squeaked between her fingers in cleanliness.

"Shippou, come here. Let me get your hair nice and clean." Shippou swam toward her obediently, a look of mock fear on his face. Kagome tended to be a little over the top when it came to staying clean. She squeezed more shampoo into her hands, tossing the bottle behind her haphazardly. Scrubbing her hands through his long red hair, she smiled when he began making little dramatic squeaks of terror. "Oh, it's not that bad. You don't want to be all gross, do you?" Shippou sighed, supplying her with a monotone response. "No, momma." Kagome smiled in satisfaction, rubbing the last bit of shampoo into his skull. "Good. I refuse to have a smelly fox kit following me around all the time. Now, hold your breath!"

Before he could respond, she dunked him beneath the water's surface. He came up coughing and sputtering, an indignant look on his adorable face. She laughed at him openly, dodging the splash of water he sent hurtling in her direction. "That. Was mean," he announced, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow as if demanding an explanation. She laughed again, before carefully composing her face before she irritated him further. "I'm sorry, Shippou. I was merely trying to wash the soap out of your hair, you understand." With a disbelieving snort, Shippou retreated to the other end of the hot spring, a safe distance away from her devilish ways. "I'll wash the soap out of my hair myself, thank you!" She covered a smile with her hand as he ducked his head beneath the water and clawed purposefully at his hair.

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Shippou walked closely beside his adopted mother in comfortable silence, idly fluffing his damp tail habitually. Kagome looked to be in deep thought, no doubt trying to plan a way to put off telling their companions about the happenings in the meadow. They had come to an unspoken agreement: Kagome would tell her friends of what happened when the time was right, and in the meantime he would be able to go on as if nothing had happened. He and Kagome had always been the members of the group that had been the quickest to bounce back, he because of his youth and she because of her optimism. Unlike the rest of their friends, who tended to dwell on bad occurrences and live their lives around them, Kagome and Shippou had mastered the art of suppressing unpleasant happenings. Perhaps that would be a bit unhealthy for them in the long run, but it suited them just fine at the moment.

Fidgeting a bit, Shippou pulled at his new clothes speculatively. He ruined his clothes so often with his carefree love of all things messy that Kagome had taken it upon herself to carry an extra set of clothes for him wherever they went. His solid green t-shirt was oddly soft, much more comfortable than the scratchy clothes of the current time period. His pants were comfortable as well, but made of a more durable blue denim material. Still, he longed for the clothes of his time, and couldn't wait to be rid of his odd new apparel. Upon giving him these clothes, she had promised to buy him something more suitable from one of the people in the village.

They were nearing the village slowly, the sun beginning to sink toward the horizon as it always did. Kagome was a few hours late, having said that she would arrive just before dinner, but she imagined that she would be excused when they learned of her reasoning. She hoped they wouldn't be too angry with her for letting something like this happen. She was already beating herself up about the whole ordeal, and if all of her friends did as well she didn't know if she could handle it. Eventually, her friends would forgive her, but forgiving herself would take so much longer. Allowing your son's life to be endangered like that wasn't something easily brushed off.

Shippou yawned, stretching his arms high over his head before lowering them slowly back down to his sides. He patted his rumbling stomach reassuringly, mentally willing it to be patient for now. Kagome, seeing his actions, guided him toward a moss-free rock and plopped down for a rest. "Hungry? I'm sure I can scrounge something up for us." She unbuckled her bag and rummaged through it for a few short moments, looking for something to eat that didn't have to be cooked first. "Here we go," she announced, proudly extracting two chocolate bars from her bag with a satisfied grin.

"Chocolate!" Shippou dove toward the foil covered treats, which Kagome wisely moved out of his reach. Holding the bars over her head, she shook her head at him sternly, giving him a look that clearly said 'Act polite, or no chocolate for you'. Using every ounce of self-restraint he had in his little body, Shippou sat obediently on the rock beside her, hands clasped tightly in his lap. He eyed her with a poorly disguised scowl, agitated at the thought of having to wait to eat his chocolaty delight.

She scowled back at him readily, matching his agitation with her own mock disapproval. With deliberate lethargy, she brought the candy back into his reach, raising an eyebrow in warning when his hands began to twitch toward them. "Ah ah ah, Shippou," she sang, her lips quirking upward in amusement. His self-restraint when it came to chocolate was basically nonexistent. "Now, Shippou," she started, holding the chocolate bars loosely in one hand, "Would you like a chocolate bar?" His head nodded vigorously, lips pressed in a thin line to keep from shouting his answer. She waved them through air teasingly, knowing the scent would sift through the air toward him. He was practically bouncing now, hands held so tightly that his knuckles were white with blood constriction. His nose twitched sporadically, reminding her so much of a guinea pig that she nearly laughed aloud.

Finally relenting, she tossed him one of the bars. He dove after it as if he were half starved, tackling the inanimate object midair, and tumbling onto the ground. With an exclamation of "Yes!", he held the bar with two hands above his head in victory, running a small lap around her rock with a huge grin fixed permanently on his face. She laughed heartily at his antics, before tearing the foil off her chocolate and tossing it into her bag. She bit into the milk chocolate with an elated expression, chewing it thoroughly to savor the warm, sweet taste. After he calmed down, Shippou did the same, though his chewing was accompanied by multiple satisfied grunts.

With their chocolate devoured, they set off again, their hunger temporarily satiated. She would make sure that Shippou got some real food in his system before he fell asleep, but for now he would be fine. With a bounce in his step, Shippou bounded happily along at her side, his mostly dried hair whirling around his head unbound. Unfortunately for him, his hair tie had been lost in the 'accident', and she didn't have anything to use as a substitute. Not that he seemed to mind much. In fact, Shippou seemed to find a sense of freedom in his new hairstyle, constantly running his fingers through it with a light smile on his face.

The village was only minutes away now, the telltale signs of civilization becoming apparent. Kagome and Shippou were finally following an actual pathway, rather than tramping through the tangled trees. The cleared path was a relief to Kagome, who had found it hard to navigate over roots and fallen trees with a heavy pack slung over her weary back. Her nerves, however, were a complete mess. Retelling recent events wasn't exactly going to be fun, let alone painless. Inuyasha was going to overreact as he always did, which meant there would be an argument between them. She didn't much feel like being disputatious right now. Her mind was nearly on shut down, and her emotions were scattered beyond repair.

Shippou hopped down the path on one foot, playing a mental game of hopscotch to pass the time. Once again, his mother had fallen deep in thought, and he didn't especially want to bother her with senseless chatter when she was obviously trying to sort something out within herself. He hoped that she wouldn't dwell on his death in the meadow for much longer. He was okay now, and she hadn't been physically harmed. He didn't fully understand her distress. Surely, he thought, she wasn't feeling guilty over the whole ordeal. It had been his own fault, that he knew. How could she be expected to save him all the time when she didn't even live in the same time period?

Shippou sighed quietly. Of course she was feeling guilty. For all the time he had known her, she had taken all the blame for anything that had gone wrong upon herself. It was as if she expected perfection from herself, something that no being could possibly achieve. Besides, half of the things she blamed herself for were completely out of her control. It was as if she thought that in order to keep the people she loved happy, she had to carry all their burdens for them, a proverbial pack mule. In the end, the weight of the whole world will come crashing down her, if she didn't change her ways. There was a difference between being generous, and having no care toward self-preservation. She was unquestionably part of the latter category. She lived with no regards to her own needs. In fact, he bet if he asked her to stop eating so he could have her share, she would do so without question.

Shame bubbled up inside of him. How long had he been treating her like a supreme being? Four years? In all of that time, Shippou had never once gone out of his way to care for her, as she had always done for him. Sure, he had assisted her once and again, or picked her some pretty flowers, but had he ever truly stopped what he was doing to make sure she was properly taken care of? Why, just that morning, he had been imagining she was an angel. Of course she wasn't an angel. She was a human being, with wants and needs of her own. Wants and needs that she always tossed aside and replaced with someone else's. This had to stop. There needed to be some sort of limit. And establishing this limit would be Shippou's personal mission.

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They walked into the quiet village nervously, the sky shot through with effervescent smears of orange, red, and pink. Dusk was finally upon them, and the tired villagers were sitting safe inside their huts in relative peace. The children had disappeared from the village square, though their playthings and stick drawings were left behind in their wake. Shippou eyed their makeshift toys wistfully, daydreaming of the games he would play the following day. As much as he enjoyed accompanying his friends on their frequent adventures to steal back jewel shards from dangerous demons, it was fun to have a chance to play with kids his age every once and again.

Kagome walked toward Kaede's hut with a resigned expression on her face, exhausted both mentally and physically. She forced herself not to dwell on the task that lay ahead of her, opting to rather focus on the much-welcomed slumber that would follow her retelling. Sleep would be a welcome release from the day's roller coaster of emotions. She had never had a more mentally trying day, and hoped she never did again. This reoccurring feeling of hitting an extreme low was causing her more pain than any physical wound. All the guilt and frustration was festering inside her mind, growing and morphing into something more like self-loathing. Self-loathing was new to Kagome. It was a whole new species of negativity and she didn't like it one bit.

"Hey!" Suddenly, Inuyasha was standing directly in front of them, having just jumped to the ground from Kaede's thatched rooftop. His arms were folded across his chest, an aggravated expression on his face. Kagome brought a hand to her heart, willing it to slow down. "Inuyasha! You startled me." He rolled his eyes at her, silently cursing her human-like inability to sense the things around them. "Where've you guys been? You're late! We could have had things to do, y'know. Hey, why do I smell blood?" Kagome closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, raising her other hand in front of her in 'Stop' formation to pause his onslaught of questions. Nothing could trick his nose. "I'll explain later."

"Keh." Inuyasha turned on his heels, swinging around to face Kaede's. He walked in without another word, though his body language screamed that he was dissatisfied with her taking a rain check on answering his questions. She swung her bag off her shoulders, holding it by the straps with one hand. Preparing herself for the interrogation due to take place later that night, Kagome herded Shippou into the hut, following close behind him.

"Kagome, you're back!" Sango smiled at her warmly and raised a hand in greeting, careful not to jostle the sleeping Kirara currently nestled in her lap. All her friends were gathered around the fire pit for warmth, with full stomachs and contented attitudes. "Welcome, Kagome. You are looking positively radiant this evening. I trust that Shippou and yourself have quite an appetite after missing out on dinner. Would you care for a bowl of Kaede's stew? She kept it warm for you." Miroku motioned toward an inviting pot of food, steam still rising from its depths. Kagome salivated at the mere smell of it, her mind going blank save for her primal instinct to eat.

"It smells delicious," Kagome commented, eyes fixated on the large pot. She made a move toward it, only to be stopped by a small clawed hand wrapping around her own and holding her back. She turned to look at Shippou, who had a light smile on his face. "You're tired. Let me get it for you." He let go of her hand and walked toward the stew, leaving Kagome standing in the doorway with a look of pure confusion on his face. What was he doing? He looked over his shoulder at her with a laugh. "Well, come on, then. Sit down," he urged her, and she complied, feeling a bit awkward at being served by the kit. It usually went the other way around.

She found herself a seat on the floor between Sango and Inuyasha, knowing better than to sit by Miroku and his wandering hands. Miroku and Sango bantered back and forth about some odd job they had been doing that day, while Inuyasha merely stared at her impatiently. He was waiting. Kagome looked away from him uncomfortably, settling her eyes on her son. His tongue poked out of the side of his lips as he tried to ladle the stew into the small wooden bowls. Stew sloshed out of the ladle by part of his sloppy handling, landing in thick puddles on the floor. She would have to clean that up when he went to sleep.

A few moments later he approached her proudly with two bowls of stew in his hands. Passing her one, he plopped down into her lap and began eating his own. She ate hers as well, happily exclaiming at the wonderful taste to no one in particular. When she finished, she and Shippou set their bowls aside in one synchronized motion. With a loud yawn, he hopped up and bounded toward his bedroll, falling almost immediately into a deep sleep. Inuyasha turned to her abruptly, one eyebrow raised. "Now, tell me what you're hiding. I smelled how nervous you were the second you walked into the village."

Immediately interested, Sango and Miroku turned their heads toward them heads tilted in question. Kagome sighed and looked down at her clasped hands, wondering where she should start. At the beginning, she supposed. "Well, when I came through the well today around lunch time, Shippou wasn't waiting for me, as he usually was. At first I wasn't all that concerned, but then when I tried to sense if he was in the village, I couldn't find him anywhere." Inuyasha rolled his eyes, interrupting her story. "Keh. That brat can't sit still for a minute. So what if he wasn't in the village?" Kagome shot him a glare, drawing her lips into a thin line.

"Go on, please, Kagome," Sango urged her. Kagome knotted and unknotted her fingers nervously. "So, I tried to sense if he was anywhere nearby me in the forest, and I caught sign of him a while away in the opposite direction of the village. I got this really bad feeling right then. Like something terrible had happened." Sango nodded sympathetically. She knew that feeling only too well. "At that point, I was basically hyperventilating. I grabbed my bag and took off through the forest to find him. And I did find him. I found him in a meadow." Another snort from Inuyasha. "All of this because you found him playing in a bunch of flowers? The things you get upset over are completely ridicul-" "I found him DEAD in the meadow!"

Horrified silence followed her statement. No one moved, no one spoke. Sago's face had gone completely white. For some reason, she had never really thought about what it would do to Kagome if Shippou died, or any of them for that matter. Now she knew only too well. It would completely break her. There would be no consoling her if she lost any of the people she cared for. Shippou had died today, but by some miracle he was still here with them, alive and well. The only thing she could think was 'How?'. How was it that Kagome was sitting here telling them of her adopted son's death, when the young kit was here as well, sleeping on a mat in the corner?

Miroku glanced toward Shippou, more confused that ever. The boy was sleeping soundly, his bright red hair spilling over the edge of his mat. His arms and legs were curled into chest, his body forming a tight ball. His chest rose and fell with each breath he took, and his eyes moved rapidly beneath his lids as he dreamed. He was perfectly fine. Always the deep thinker of the group, he immediately searched through everything he knew of resurrection. Was Shippou like Kikyo, brought back to life and forced to sustain himself with souls? No, Kagome would never allow something like that to happen to him. Besides, Miroku had just witnessed Shippou inhaling a bowl of stew. Only living creatures needed to eat.

Miroku mentally sighed. She couldn't have wished him life with the jewel. They didn't have all of it, and no wish could be made unless it was completed. Had it just been an unexplainable miracle? Had the Gods merely shown mercy on the young fox kit? That was the only explanation he had left. No one but the Gods had the power to give back life completely. Suddenly, Miroku gasped in realization. No one but the Gods could return life, except, of course, a certain dog demon with a very special sword. His eyes flickered to Kagome's in an instant. "Sesshoumaru."

Kagome nodded, a shaky laugh escaping her at the oddity of the situation. "It was," she allowed, giving him a tiny smile for figuring it out so quickly. Sango gasped. Never would she have thought it would be Sesshoumaru who had saved the kit from death. Sesshoumaru didn't have compassion. Why would he have cared if Shippou lived or died? The only people she had seen him act half decent toward were Rin, his young companion, and Kagome. She tilted her head in confusion. Had Sesshoumaru done this for Kagome?

Inuyasha closed his eyes tightly, feeling ready to explode. What was going on? He jumped to his feet without warning, causing Kagome to flinch from where she sat beside him. He pointed a finger at her accusingly, his thoughts in complete turmoil. "Why would my asshole of a brother want to help you?" Kagome stood as well, arms folded defensively across her chest. "Because. Sesshoumaru is my friend. That's what friends do." Inuyasha growled at her explanation, though he lowered his hand to his side.

"Well, if you guys are such fantastic friends now, why don't you just go with him?" Inuyasha was seething. Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that. Not at all. "Inuyasha, why are you acting like this? He saved Shippou's life. You should be grateful!" That about did it. "Grateful?! The day I'm grateful toward that bastard is the day I invite Naraku over for fucking tea! Don't you see, Kagome? He didn't do this for you! He must have had some ulterior motive, or something. He never does anything unless it benefits him directly."

"Inuyasha, SIT!" He crashed into the ground immediately, promptly letting out a string of curses. Kagome walked forward to stand above him, looking down at him in severe disapproval. "How about instead of coming up with empty reasons to hate him, you just admit that he did something generous, something that in no way had anything to do with him? He did it out of the goodness of his heart, and you're the ass for not accepting things as they are! Sometimes I just cannot believe you, Inuyasha." With that, she walked out of the hut, leaving a very dazed Sango, a very amused Miroku, a very angry Inuyasha, and a very asleep Shippou in her wake.

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A/N: Not sure I like how this chapter turned out, but I'm relatively satisfied. I just love Shippou. When I grow up big and strong, I'm gonna get myself a Shippou and love him, and squeeze him, and never let him go! I'm glad this chapter is over. Now the real fun begins! We might spy on Sesshoumaru for a while, I reckon. That's always a bucket 'o' fun. I'm unsure if I want to continue this fic. I wrote the first chapter of this purely for the purpose of restarting my mind, after my brain short circuited from working on the book I'm writing. I don't know if I have the conviction to see this through. Uploading chapters is really hard for me, on account of the fact that I do all my writing on a Mac, and then transfer it all to a Dell. Whenever I transfer it, my writing gets all twisted around, and a bunch of unintelligible coding gets thrown into it in random places. Anyone know how to fix that? Read and Review, please. Me without reviews is like a flower without water; wilted and unable to function. Help keep me alive!


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